This post will soon be at an end, and now it’s even sooner.

I’ve maintained a steady pace of seeing They Might Be Giants about every 5 years or so since the John Henry tour. Actually, it might have been even earlier than that (possibly Flood, as I vaguely remember a tour shirt floating around the house). I may have also seen them twice within a 5 year period on more than one occasion. They may have also been my first concert. This is easy when you grow up in a household with “Why Does The Sun Shine?” 7 inch singles and “S-E-X-X-Y” EP’s lying around. Long before They Might Be Giants were making “children’s music,” I was learning all I needed to know from Lincoln and Apollo 18; Shoehorns with teeth, birdhouses in your soul, Istanbul (not Constantinople), etc. Most of all, I learned that no other band on Earth is anything like this one.

Sure, you may know the Johns from their sporadic spurts of “15 Minutes,” - “Ana Ng” almost topping a Billboard chart, or late show performances of “Older,” or the theme for Malcolm in the Middle, or maybe even their animated features on shows like KaBlam! and Tiny Toons - But it barely even scratches the surface of the phenomenon that is They Might Be Freakin’ Giants. With 13 studio albums, over 20 EP’s, hundreds of Dial-A-Song recordings, webcasts, and internet only releases…even the most avid fan hasn’t heard everything. There are still entire albums I haven’t heard.

The band hardly ever gets credited as the first major label band to release an entire album online (1999’s Long Tall Weekend), or the first to have an online mailing list (as early as 1992 with Usenet), or, arguably, the inventors of ringtones (“Fingertips,” a series of of 5-15 second tracks off their 1991 album Apollo 18) and audio streams (offered free music to anyone who called their Dial-A-Song service as early as 1983). OK, maybe those last two are a stretch, but seriously, the Giants had all the good ideas.

[And now it’s even sooner]

You’d be hard-pressed to find any other band more imaginative or original. Musically, they are one of those bands that actually will try anything (as opposed to so many bands who say they do, but clearly do not). While they could write a 12 second folk song about milk, they could also compose the catchiest 3 minute alternative rock song imaginable. No style is too out of the box, and no subject is too obscure. They’ve penned bio-tunes on everyone from James K. Polk (in 1844, the Democrats were split) to James Ensor (Belgium’s famous painter), and are lyrically the most underrated band…well, ever. “I saw the worst bands of my generation applied by magic marker to dry wall/I should be allowed to glue my poster/I should be allowed to think.” Amen. Some of the band’s songs are loosely based on an idea, and even less have any meaning at all. You want to know who Ana Ng is? Well, just check the phone book. Besides, I’d happily listen to John Linnell’s nasally voice sing about pretty much anything. It’s oddly soothing.

Trying to figure out almost any aspect of They Might Be Giants would most likely prove futile (Really, what’s up with the William Allen White obsession and the excessive use of the accordion?), but it’s completely beside the point. Commercially, the band is virtually unknown. The best part? They don’t give a rat’s. Once asked in a television interview if they were happy that they only grossed 2 million dollars that year (whatever year it was), they laughed and said sarcastically, “Oh, only 2 million?” They Might Be Giants are extremely content with the status of their career. Since they left their major label deal with Elektra and started doing things their own way, they’ve never looked back. They have a loyal fan base that appreciates everything they release, they have an artist owned and operated store where they sell all of their MP3’s (and keep every dime), and they have complete artistic freedom. And the accordion? It kicks ass.

[And now it’s sooner still]

What’s my point? They Might Be Giants are pioneers and revolutionaries. They are a treasured rarity. They premier new music on an “often broken” answering machine attached to a local Brooklyn phone number, yet they are still capable of selling out Beacon Theater (if you’re lucky, you might get tickets for Christmas and make a family night of it). The term “cult band” may be the best way to describe them, yet it is perfectly conceivable for you to hear them at any moment while channel surfing. You’re probably listening to a song they wrote right now. Best of all, they are downright lovable. I dare you to listen to any record and not smile ear to ear.

So, to everyone who has a worn out copy of They Might Be Giants’ first VHS video collection in a box somewhere in the garage…this is for you.

My Poproks Top 10 They Might Be Giants songs…

10. “Sleeping in the Flowers”
From the guitar heavy John Henry, with a more TMBG sounding chorus.

9. “Boss of Me”
The insanely catchy Malcolm in the Middle theme song, one of the band’s most straight-forward pop songs.

8. “Man It’s So Loud in Here”
The first song I heard off of Mink Car, my favorite TMBG song of this decade.

7. “Purple Toupee”
Here to stay, after the hair has gone away.

6. “The Statue Got Me High”
When I think of all of the times I sang along to this and had no idea what it meant (even in an abstract TMBG sort of way), it makes me laugh.

5. “I Palindrome I”
See? They taught me what a palindrome is!

4. “Ana Ng”
A’course.

3. “Don’t Let’s Start”
The band’s first ever single, reppin’ Queens.

2. “Birdhouse in Your Soul”
Some of the weirdest lyrics ever written, yet the highest charting track the band has ever had.

1. “Put Your Hand Inside The Puppet Head”
They Might Be Giants…in a 2:10 minute nutshell.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=bhOYrZxgJvc]