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My Madonnaroks.

Last night, I went to Roseland Ballroom to see this pop singer named Madonna.

I’d like to lie about how I got into this show, but I’m about to reveal what a nut-case I really am. My Pop really does Rok. Getting in to this show was a chore, as me and a friend arrived at 6pm Tuesday (yes, the show was Wednesday), camped out until 6am (not including a trip home that involved me taking a nap and a shower), and waited as a Roseland staff member placed wristbands on all 300 or so people one at a time. The scalpers in front of us surely had a time figuring out how to transfer that thing undamaged (a few must have though, as there were $3,000 ‘tickets’ for sale on eBay by noon). Then we returned to the venue at 6pm to line-up to get in, got another wristband (that said “Madonna” in bold black letters), and finally reached our destination 5 feet from the stage.

I’m still in recovery mode, but from what I can remember, the pulsating crowd pumped as loud as the Roseland speakers last night for Madonna’s one and only US promo show for her new album, Hard Candy. The sea of sweat and camera flashes crushed together to get as close to the Queen of Pop as possible; And since we were already in a 2200 capacity hall, that proved to be pretty damn close. After a near hour of mash-ups courtesy of Madge’s DJ that ended in a montage of “candy” related tracks (ie: 50’s Cents “Candy Shop,” Bow Wow Wow’s “I Want Candy,” etc.), the lights went down and the screens on the stage flashed frantically as “Candy Shop” started up. The middle section of the stage rotated to reveal Madonna on her thrown, and after that…everything is a blur.

The Justin Timberlake cameo during “4 Minutes” made the already hysterical small crowd go into apoplectic shock. I think someone next to me peed in their pants, fainted, and was good to go again by the first chorus. Justin and Madonna sexed up the performance, doing everything except making out Britney VMA style. Madonna oozed sex appeal during the whole set, despite being what some would consider “old.” The 49 year old Yoga master can still rock a crowd (and a half naked album cover, apparently). She can also rock a guitar, as evident during the hammed up hard rock version of Confessions track “Hung Up,” dedicated to all the people she “saw on the sidewalk the night before” (I was home getting pillows, damn!).

The highlight of the night was her next single, “Give it To Me,” a synth-heavy club-ready dance track that might have blown the roof off the small venue. I wasn’t looking. For every chorus, Madonna and her dancers simply jumped in place, fists pumping, encouraging the crowd to do the same. They did. The near 6 minute dance track could have gone on for 40 and been the entire show for all I cared. It’s been a long while since I’ve genuinely pumped a fist at a show. That’s for sure. The homemade Hard Candy t-shirts stayed well after the set was over to dance to more tracks on the loud-speakers. We left to get water and regain consciousness.

It was one of the most intense concert going experiences I’ve ever had, and I wouldn’t do it again.

Setlist:
Candy Shop
Miles Away
4 Minutes
Hung Up
Give it to Me
Music

*The performance is streaming here.