Noel Gallagher is at it again. The Oasis guitarist has recently decided to become even more of a relentless, pompous asshole, criticizing some of the most talented names in pop music right now, as if Oasis has had a good decent record this decade. It’s more of the same from Noel, in more ways than one! In case you didn’t know, he’s the biggest baddest rock star there ever was, and you are most likely either jealous, or total crap.

On a recent Radio 1 interview on the Chris Moyles breakfast show, Noel said that Mark Ronson (Winehouse producer, maker of kick-ass covers), should “learn three chords on the guitar and go write a tune.”

On Saturday, Ronson responded on his blog..

Oh, Noel…..

noel gallagher said i should “learn three chords on the guitar and go write a tune”. so i just wanted him to know that i’m actually taking guitar lessons from Jay-Z right now and he’s already taught me both chords to “Wonderwall” (tune!). in fact, it’s so much fun having Jay teach me all of noel’s songs on the guitar (hooray!) that i”m thinking of doing an Oasis/Jay Z remix album a la “The Grey Album”. Potential titles are “Champagne Superhova” or “Definitely Jay Z”*. I’ll keep you posted….

Mark X

p.p.s. noel, i did write a song called “back to black”, which actually has 7 chords in it

I am going to give Ronson the win on this one, regardless of the fact that, sure, his biggest hit is a cover. It’s still better than the last 3 Oasis albums combined. Noel, now you’re just trying too hard.

On a BBC interview Friday, Noel mentioned his reaction to Jay-Z’s ‘tribute’ to “Wonderwall,” going on to request that everyone be required to play the song at Glastonbury from now on, and went on about how “brilliant” it is and how it’s “one of the best songs ever written.” It is, but it would be nice if Noel would get over the fact that the current relevance of his band pales in comparison to that of both Jay-Z and Ronson. Saying things like “hip hop” has “no place” at a rock festival, Noel is beginning to sound like a bitter old man. ‘I just don’t get you kids today and your rap music.’ Sorry Grandpa.

Noel also took a dig at Leeds band, Kaiser Chiefs, saying that despite the 18 years of drugs he did, “I never got that bad as to say, ‘You know what? I think the Kaiser Chiefs are brilliant’.” Again, it’s fair to say that Kaiser Chief’s biggest hit is better than all of Heathen Chemistry and Don’t Believe the Truth put together…even if they were twice as good as they are. In fact, I’d say that “Ruby” could hold its own up against some of Oasis’ better songs.

After their appearance at V Festival, drummer Nick Hodgson told BBC Newsbeat:

“We’re definitely not offended but I do actually like it, I think it’s a bit of sport. It is funny though, because it does happen [Gallagher criticising bands] every single time they put out an album. And the last two albums it’s been us [getting the brunt of it]. When I was 17 and Noel was going on about Blur I was watching it, and now I’m 30 and he’s 50 and he’s talking about us, it’s brilliant.”

Excellent point, Nick. The album certainly isn’t going to sell on it’s content!

Not to say that I don’t like my fair share of pompous assholes, I just happen to prefer pompous assholes that still have the talent to back up their ridiculous egos. Being a huge Oasis fan during the mid-90’s boom of Britpop (even though, in retrospect, I have to side with Blur), it’s hard even for me to understand where he’s ever coming from anymore. Despite the fact that he’s written one, or maybe even two of my favorite albums of all time, he’s simply no longer in the position to throw bricks for no reason. At this point, if he’d like to stand on the shoulders of giants, he should try Jay’s.

On Chris Moyles, Noel also mentioned that the band’s new track is, “needless to say, brilliant.” Maybe he’s listening to a different track than I am? At least he admits that it’s “the same old nonsense.”

Finally, something we agree on.