5.333333333

I wanted to steer clear of verbose negative reviews so not to have the unsubtle snobbery of certain music publications that will remain un-named (but linked). However, when compared to the blind admiration given by other music publications that will also remain un-named (but also linked), it doesn’t seem so bad. I suppose me meeting sort-of in the middle (yet keeping with the verbosing) can comfort me through the next few ‘graphs.

Where to start? I had read the Daniel Lanois interview months ago where he boasted that U2 was “reinventing rock ‘n’ roll” with No Line on the Horizon, and, as an avid fan of their recent material, I was ecstatic. However, since I’ve heard the album, I can’t help but wonder if Lanois was referring to a different one. There are moments that strike me as experimental – but not in the way I had hoped. This is the sound of a band trying to see what they can get away with; how stagnant and innocuous their output can be without coming off as completely not-giving-a-sh*t.

Maybe that’s a bit harsh, but something about this album is head-scratching. I’m not sure if it’s the Edge guitar licks and the Bono melodies that all seem recycled from various U2 albums past, or if it’s moments like the intentionally dissonant falsetto on “I’ll Go Crazy if I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight” (or that awful song title, while we’re on it), or if it’s the possibility that “Get On Your Boots” is the worst rock song of 2009. It’s likely a combination of all of these things.

Much of NLOTH plays like a band trying desperately to sound like U2, using all of the idiosyncrasies of their entire career to ensure a perfect match. Bono more often than not, sounds like someone else doing a Bono impression. This is most evident in live performances of “Boots,” in which he over-emotes to the point where he’s become that parody of himself that he’s been narrowly avoiding for a while.

I’ve been trying to put my finger on why I feel as if U2 never went away after the Vertigo Tour ended. Then I realized that this is because of Coldplay. With the band tirelessly studying from the U2 Rock Band Handbook in recent years (See: Anthems, Runways, Eno), it’s almost as if they’ve not-so-inadvertently taken U2’s place. Chris Martin himself has even joked that they were holding down the fort during U2’s interim between albums. After NLOTH selling half of what Viva La Vida did opening week – and, frankly, being half as good – I can’t help but wonder if there is room for two U2’s in this world.

With all of that said, it’s still U2. I can’t stop listening to the thing, and there are exceptions – like the Lanois/Eno style landscapes of “Fez – Being Born,” the classic U2-arena-melting power of the title track (which has been in my head for days), and the hints of the U2 album I wanted to hear within “Cedars of Lebanon.” But even “Magnificent,” which is a flat-out great song, has some of those “recycled” U2 bits I mentioned. Much of the songs on the album are the less interesting doppelgangers of U2 classics posing as the originals.

It’s hard to explain what exactly I was expecting and why this isn’t it. Hell, I even loved Pop (a lot). Never-the-less, No Line on the Horizon is an over-hyped, unsatisfying let-down, that, in many ways, reflects its bland, vapid, oddly lifeless gray and white colored cover. My grievances about the record aren’t solely attributed to my withered expectations. if it weren’t a U2 record, I don’t believe that I would think more highly of it. In fact, I’d probably think even less. Is it decent? Yeah. Did it Reinvent rock ‘n’ roll? Not even close. I really hope that that U2 album is still on the way.