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It’s Britney, Bitch?

As a swarm of adoring fans slowly filled Madison Square Garden last night for Britney Spears’ final New York Circus show, I found myself getting intensely excited for what has been getting hailed as Britney’s big “come back.” As someone who ranks the local stop of the Oops…I Did it Again Tour as one of the best pop shows I’ve ever been to, I expected nothing less than dirrty, toxic mayhem filled with multiple costume changes, moderately believable lip-syncing, inappropriate sexual dance moves, and lots and lots of surprises.

I was only slightly disappointed.

Multiple costume changes? Check. I had already seen the photos of Britney’s sexy ringmaster/sexy cop/sexy soldier/sexy sexy outfits, but I must say that it doesn’t compare to seeing them in person. While Britney has never been known for her tasteful on-stage attire, I found much of the outfits to be either hand me downs from various Madonna tours, or cheesy, over-sequined dance recital costumes. Needless to say, they were pretty great.

Sexual dance moves and surprises? Check and check. Did anyone else know that Perez Hilton filmed a completely outrageous intro video that plays before Britney comes out on stage? I imagine it would have been hard to miss that memo, but I did. There was also an R-rated music video that was shown midway through the night, set to Marilyn Manson’s “Sweet Dreams” cover, that somehow turned out totally badass.

I was also pretty pleased with the level of uncomfortable parents I noticed squirming in their seats, particularly during the slow, seductive “Breathe on Me”/”Touch of My Hand” portion of the Freakshow/Peepshow segment. Being two of my favorite Britney songs, I was pleasantly surprised with the fact that they are still a centerpiece in her show. The majority of the set was made up of Blackout and Circus tracks, and the only song before 2001 present on the list was”Baby One More Time,” which was remixed beyond recognition.

Kinda like Britney?

This leads me to my point. Where was Britney? I know she was up on stage, attempting to lip-sync/dance, hidden among the dozens of dancers and acrobats that filled 3 separate stages, but where was she? She wasn’t making eye contact with the audience. She barely even spoke to the audience. Maybe it was just me, but, besides a very genuine, non-lip-synced rendition of In the Zone’s “Everytime,” Britney wasn’t really there. She seemed detached, distant, and pre-programmed. I can excuse the immoderately believable lip-syncing (only because it’s basically irrelevant), but the Britney Spears who seemed to glow in the spotlight just a few years ago wasn’t anywhere to be found. The exclamation point she used to put at the end of every dance move was more of an ellipsis, and her smile that was once that of America’s Pop Princess seemed kind of…forced.

By the end of the extravagantly orchestrated and aptly named display, I started to realize that the triple stages of acrobats, props, lights, and screens were meant to distract us from the fact that Britney wasn’t doing all that much. While most people didn’t care or barely seemed to notice, it made me sort of sad. Sure, the show was entertaining, everything flowed smoothly, and Britney is in the best physical shape of her life…but, something was missing.

Perhaps her soul has truly been broken, and all that’s left is a remixed version that doesn’t really have the heart of the original. Perhaps she’s trying to squeeze something out of herself that doesn’t come as naturally as it used to. Perhaps it’s the second leg of a very long world tour, and she’s just a little tired. Perhaps I’m alone in this, but Britney can do better.

Given that a part of me knows she never will, I was only slightly disappointed.